Problem Sleuth acquires the INK OF SQUID PRO QUO and puts it safely in his POCKET, where any good flask belongs.

The items remaining in your inventory are, of course, 4 precious pieces of CANDY CORN, a lot of useless AMMUNITION, and your supplies of ELF TEARS, WEASEL SNOT, HOG SLOP, and PIE FILLING, each respectively at 36, 12, 18, and 29 drops precisely.

Now all you need is a weapon.