DAVE: i guess i have to admit DAVE: part of this DAVE: for me personally DAVE: its KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING DAVE DAVE: its about obama Very slowly, Karkat raises his right palm and forcefully unites it with his own face.

DAVE: what DAVE: who DAVE: obama??

JADE: definitely DAVE: i mean earth c has just been play acting capitalism the last five thousand years while we timeskipped ahead to live rad lives as gods without bothering with any of the boring shit that goes into making a civilization DAVE: which is fine i mean you cant really expect a bunch of teens who didnt finish middle school to set up a sustainable form of social democracy that isnt just blatantly ripped off whatever we incorrectly thought obama god rest his soul was doing back in the day KARKAT: SIGH DAVE: but janes got this old school mentality you just know she wants to restrict grist alchemy for the sake of “growth” and when that goes down itll take three seconds flat for some nobody in new dersetown to drop the earth c communist manifesto DAVE: at which point were in for a speedrun of either our 20th century or her 21st century DAVE: were gonna glitch under the map straight from marx to clown dictatorship DAVE: which also isnt the real issue KARKAT: OH YEAH.

DAVE: wait was there a troll obama KARKAT: I’M THE FUCKING TROLL OBAMA, REMEMBER?

OBAMA: I wen

dudes reach a truce TG: put their blowchutes to use and up-suck it TG: afflecks saclifice, i mean -crifice, would have to sufflice. aw fluck it TG: bro be a stained-glass saint, up on a cross gettin hella christ-plagiarous TG: bruce's like offa that cruciflix, nuff a this fuckin savior-fuss TG: restrained his ass per mclane-redux while buscemi remained derangerous TG: when a plan gone astray pays off a wasted craterous TG: ash tray caterin to layers of matt maconnaheys vague remainder-dust TG: wait TG: uh TG: macconahey wasnt even in any of those meteor movies was he TG: ill have to make a rap about TG: i dont know TG: morgan freeman or something TG: being the president TG: itll be called TG: "obama made it so that no one gives a shit about black presidents in movies anymore" TG: see youve got to fill me in on whats going on TG: so i have something to rap about besides all your dumbshit movies

DAVE: (yeah) DAVE: (yeah) DAVE: (droppin everything today) DAVE: (making it rain) DAVE: (precipitatin straight up mayhem) DAVE: (HELLS of weather patterns closing in) DAVE: (inanimate shit be slippin from my mitts) DAVE: (my digits cant commit to a legitimate grip) DAVE: (wait) DAVE: (nah ima start over) DAVE: (feel this flow out a lil more) DAVE: (about how im droppin things today) DAVE: (just left and right) DAVE: (things of all shapes sizes and dubious metaphorical merit) DAVE: (things aint even being held) DAVE: (by chumps who cant be assed to show up) DAVE: (droppin shit on yo BEHALF) DAVE: (you name it) DAVE: (ima let it go) DAVE: (drop it like a frivolous lawsuit) DAVE: (oh snap) DAVE: (get out of my courtroom bitch) DAVE: (WASTE OF TAXPAYER MONEY YO) DAVE: (drop it like the most expensive fucking christmas ornament) DAVE: (step on that glass with your bare ass feet) DAVE: (christmas is RUINED motherfucker) DAVE: (drop it like the mug in usual suspects) DAVE: (kobayashi was your cup you dumb fuck) DAVE: (lmao) DAVE: (drop it like unemployment figures under the obama administrations bold economic policies) DAVE: (drop it like cargo on a space getaway) DAVE: (just) DAVE: (jettison that motherfucker) DAVE: (this rap is blasting off) DAVE: (drop it like a bunch of firewood i just gathered) DAVE: (gonna rub a couple muthafuckin sticks together) DAVE: (just sittin here whippin up sick lyrical friction) DAVE: (if you start smellin smoke you caught a whiff of my diction) DAVE: (shits gettin warm but i wont stop til its hot) DAVE: (warm just dont cut it when shits gettin dropped) DAVE: (tell me how you feel) DAVE: (about shit getting dropped) DAVE: (how hot do you want it) DAVE: (when i let go of the fire) DAVE: (just say when) DAVE: (what) DAVE: (i cant hear you) DAVE: (I SAID SAY WHEN MUTHAFUCKS SHIT IS BURNIN MY HANDS!)

DAVE: (just dropped that shit like a bad phone connection) DAVE: (i put gravity in charge of its downward direction) DAVE: (unfettered descents what it considers perfection) DAVE: (shit thinks of the ground and it gets an erection) DAVE: (best hope its carpet bound in its downward spiral) DAVE: (cause linoleums frowned on, met with an eyeroll) DAVE: (landin on grass is just the course that its par for) DAVE: (but hardwood fuckin floors what its woods gettin hard for) DAVE: (guess i should mention stead a motherfuckin hardons) DAVE: (how my motherfuckin french could use a presidential pardon) DAVE: (KICK IT BARACK) DAVE: (heres where obamas rap solo comes in) DAVE: (no but how dope would that be!)

ROXY: here comes da lightning ROXY: u got to imagine it comin out my fingertips ROXY: wherein i am an almighty wisard DAVE: ok currently imagining that DAVE: hmm not bad DAVE: not bad at all ROXY: pCHOO ROXY: um ROXY: what ROXY: is your favorite rap guy DAVE: thats a dead tie DAVE: between me and snoop DAVE: also MAYBE obama but to be fair i dont think he raps irl that is mainly just a headcanon i have about him DAVE: but come on DAVE: you werent actually curious about that were you ROXY: im trying to think of stuff to ask jeez!