carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --

CG: HEY JOHN.
CG: CALM THE HELL DOWN.
EB: aaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
EB: how did you find me?????
CG: FIND YOU?
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN.
EB: i changed my chum handle to ditch you guys.
EB: how did you find me?
CG: OH.
CG: HA HA!
CG: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
CG: THIS IS THE LITTLE WORD HUMANS SAY REPEATEDLY WHEN SOMETHING TICKLES THEIR ABSURDITY PALATE, RIGHT?
EB: uh...
EB: lame.
CG: WE NEVER LOST YOU.
CG: YOUR RUSE DIDN'T FOOL US.
CG: IT JUST SO HAPPENS WE DIDN'T PARTICULARLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT TALKING TO YOU IN THAT TIMEFRAME.
EB: what, the last few months?
CG: WE HAVE THE ENTIRE CONTINUUM OF YOUR EXISTENCE TO CHOOSE FROM WHEN CONTACTING YOU.
CG: THE PERIOD WAS UNREMARKABLE.
CG: SORT OF LIKE YOUR WHOLE LIFE. BUT I GUESS I MEAN IT WAS ESPECIALLY UNREMARKABLE.
CG: THIS HAS BEEN EXPLAINED TO YOU SO OFTEN IT WOULD MAKE ME SICK TO MY HUMAN STOMACH IF I HAD ONE OF YOUR HUMAN STOMACHS.
EB: ok, this time i'll believe you that you aren't human.
EB: because the skepticism center of my brain is starting to wear kind of thin i guess.
EB: but you're still a major asshole and i don't actually want to talk to you, so bye.
CG: WAIT.
CG: BUT I'M NOT HERE TO TROLL YOU THIS TIME.
CG: WE'RE FRIENDS OK?
EB: hahahahahaha!
EB: oh man, look at this outburst of little human words i'm saying!
EB: from my human mouth!
CG: FINE YOU CAN THINK I'M A FUCKING DOUCHE AND MAYBE I AM BUT HERE'S THE FACT, IDIOT.
CG: I'VE ALREADY HAD LOTS OF CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU.
CG: IN THE FUTURE. I MEAN YOUR FUTURE.
CG: I'VE KIND OF BEEN WORKING BACKWARDS HERE FOR A WHILE.
CG: AND IT'S A LITTLE FRUSTRATING.
CG: EVERY TIME I GO FURTHER BACK YOU KNOW LESS AND LESS, AND YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING I SAID BECAUSE IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET.
CG: AND I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF A LOT.
CG: AND I'M GETTING PRETTY FUCKING SICK OF IT.
EB: that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard.
CG: WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I MAPPED OUT THIS TROLLING ONSLAUGHT VERY WELL IN ADVANCE.
CG: I MEAN, WHEN YOU TROLL SOMEONE YOU JUST SORT OF DO IT. YOU DON'T START DRAWING FLOWCHARTS AND DIAGRAMS AND STUFF.
EB: wait...
EB: you have something to do with this game, don't you?
EB: i should have known.
CG: OH GOD.
CG: NOT AGAIN.
CG: NO, FUCK NO, I AM JUST NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU AGAIN.
CG: YOU'LL GET PLENTY OF DIRT ON ALL THIS FROM ME IN FUTURE CONVERSATIONS.
CG: TEDIOUS CONVERSATIONS.
CG: ONES I'VE ALREADY HAD WITH YOU.
CG: WHERE YOUR DEMEANOR WILL GRADUALLY BECOME INEXPLICABLY AND REVOLTINGLY FRIENDLY TOWARDS US.
CG: AND SO I GUESS IT JUST WAS KIND OF INFECTIOUS AND NOW WE'RE ALL BUDDIES I THINK.
CG: IT'S REALLY WEIRD.
CG: THIS HUMAN EMOTION YOU CALL FRIENDSHIP.
EB: friendship isn't an emotion fucknuts.
CG: SEE, THAT IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
CG: YOU'RE MUCH MORE TOLERABLE A GUY THAN I THOUGHT AT FIRST, OK JOHN?
EB: why are you kissing my ass?
EB: what do you want? why don't you just tell me what's going on.
EB: are you in the medium?
CG: OK, FINE. YES WE ARE.
EB: like, here in this land, with the clouds and oil and stuff?
CG: MORE OF THIS NARCISSISM.
CG: YOU ALWAYS THINK EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND YOU.
CG: WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DUMB LITTLE WINDY PLANET OR YOUR PETTY LITTLE QUESTS.
CG: OR FOR THAT MATTER YOUR ENTIRE GAME SESSION.
CG: YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONES PLAYING THE GAME.
CG: EVERY GROUP OF PLAYERS GETS THEIR OWN DISTINCT, BLANK SLATE SESSION.
CG: AS WILL BE EXPLAINED TO YOU MANY TIMES.
EB: so why don't you just explain it again so i know...
EB: so i don't ask so much in the future???
CG: NO.
CG: FUCK THIS SHIT, JUST NO.
CG: I'M ENDING THIS CONVERSATION BECAUSE I'VE SAID IT ALL TOO MANY TIMES.
CG: AND BECAUSE YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND.
CG: BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB.
EB: wow, yeah you're totally not trolling me, bro!
EB: i see now we are bffs forever.
CG: THE FACT THAT YOU ARE DUMB
CG: IS AN IMMUTABLE FACT I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD.
CG: IT DOES NOT MEAN ANIMOSITY IS WHAT IS TAKING PLACE HERE.
EB: oh, ok.
EB: so what do you want.
CG: I NEED YOU TO TELL YOUR FRIEND JADE TO TALK TO US.
CG: SHE WON'T ANSWER OUR MESSAGES IN THIS TIMEFRAME.
CG: IT'S IMPORTANT.
EB: yeah, i don't blame her for not answering.
EB: she pretty much can't stand you guys.
EB: because of all the trolling you did before.
EB: remember?
CG: OK, OUR BAD ON THAT.
CG: JUST TELL HER WE'RE SORRY.
CG: AND TO GET HER GROSS AND TOTALLY UNATTRACTIVE HUMAN BUTT OFF HER UGLY HUMAN HIGH HORSE AND ANSWER MY MESSAGES.
EB: maybe.
EB: we'll see.
EB: i'm still not really sold on this friendship thing yet.
EB: but i've got to go now and get on with my petty little quests.
EB: so talk to you in the future i guess.
EB: jerkface.