CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.
CCG: THIS IS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO START A NEW MEMO. CCG: IN FACT IT'S A BETTER TIME THAN ANY BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE LAWS OF CHAT CLIENT PREDESTINATION I DON'T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE DO I. CCG: FUCK. CCG: IT DOESN'T MATTER, IT'S STILL A GOOD TIME TO DO IT. CCG: PEOPLE, WE NEED TO GET ORGANIZED HERE. CCG: SHIT IS GETTING SERIOUS. CCG: WE ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON OPERATION REGISURP, A CUNNING PLAN DEVISED BY DOUBLE ARCHAGENT JACK NOIR TO EXILE THE BLACK QUEEN. CCG: WE WILL NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THIS, EVEN THE IDIOTS. CCG: AND ONCE AGAIN, A REMINDER CCG: DO NOT TROLL ME IN THESE MEMOS FROM ANY POINT IN TIME OR IT'S AN INSTA-BAN. CCG: ALSO A NOTE TO MY FUTURE SELF CCG: IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SAY SOMETHING SMUG, DO ME A FAVOR AND SHOVE A THROB STALK IN IT. CCG: JUST SIT THERE PATIENTLY AND WAIT FOR ME TO BECOME YOU IN THE DUE COURSE OF TIME, THUS IMPROVING YOUR INTELLECT DRASTICALLY. CCG: OR, INTELLECTS PLURAL. CCG: I FORGOT, THERE ARE A LOT OF YOU FUCKERS OUT THERE. CCG: ALL OF YOU, JUST ZIP YOUR CHUTES. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, LIKE THERE'S NOTHING BETTER TO DO IN THE FUTURE??? CCG: IT'S THE FUTURE FOR GOD'S SAKE, A REALM OF ENDLESS FUCKING POSSIBILITIES. CCG: NOW CCG: BEFORE WE GET STARTED, LET'S TAKE A TOLL OF THE SITUATION AT THIS POINT IN TIME. CCG: *MY* POINT IN TIME. CCG: WHO'S IN SO FAR, WHO'S NOT, ETCETERA. FUTURE caligulasAquarium [FCA] 3:11 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCA: hey sorry for bustin in on the memo but i cant get ahold of you youre not answwerin CCG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. FCA: gams advvice is fuckin useless all he told me wwas to enjoy a bevverage CCG: NO, DUDE, DON'T DRINK THAT SHIT. IF IT WERE UP TO HIM WE WOULD ALL DRINK FAYGO AT ONCE IN SOME RITUALISTIC RAP CLOWN SUICIDE PACT. CCG: BUT INSTEAD OF COMMITTING SUICIDE THE THING THAT WE ALL ACCOMPLISH IS BECOMING INSTANTANEOUS ASSHOLES WITH AWFUL TASTE. FCA: i mean FCA: its not evven that bad FCA: its just soda but wwhatevver this isnt the point CCG: THIS ISN'T THE VENUE FOR AIRING YOUR FUTURE PROBLEMS, COUNT SEA DIPSHIT. FCA: i knoww i knoww FCA: its just FCA: i got a problem FCA: wwith feferi FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin CCG: OK, WELL CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU. CCG banned FCA from responding to memo.
CCG: BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN? CCG: WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT. CCG: OK. CCG: IS EVERYBODY GOOD? CCG: JUST GONNA SIT HERE FOR A MINUTE, LOCAL TIME, AND SEE IF ANYONE ELSE HAS ANY SHIT THEY WANT TO SCRAPE OFF THEIR BULGE ON TO MY CLEAN NUTRITION PLATEAU. CCG: NOBODY? CCG: GREAT, WONDERFUL. CCG: I NOW OFFICIALLY DECLARE THE NONSENSE PORTION OF THIS MEMO TO BE OVER. CCG: THIS DECREE SHALL BE BINDING AND LASTING. CCG: BACK TO PLANNING REGISURP. CCG: BEAR DOWN EVERYBODY, THIS IS FUCKING IMPORTANT, THERE IS A QUEEN ON THE LOOSE AND WE'VE GOT TO SHOW A BITCH THE DOOR. FUTURE arachnidsGrip [FAG] 609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FAG: ::::D CCG: UN BE FUCKING LIEVABLE. FAG: Kaaaaaaaarkat! FAG: I'm sorry! FAG: 8ut do you have any idea how funny this thing is? I mean this whole thing???????? I can't stop laughing! CCG: HEY CAN FUTURE YOU MIND-PREVENT ME FROM HITTING THE BAN BUTTON? CCG: I'M GENUINELY CURIOUS! GO AHEAD, TRY TO STOP ME I DARE YOU. FAG: I'm not going to try, I'm just here to say this whole thing is ridiculous. FAG: We didn't really need you to pretend to 8e a little angry general to get any of this done. FAG: We kicked the queen out of there no sweat! It was easy. In fact, I did most of the work myself, right 8efore I found all the treasure and scaled all the rungs. CCG: OH, ALL OF THEM YOU SAY? CCG: FASCINATING. CCG: HEY FORGET THE BAN BUTTON, USE YOUR MIND POWERS TO HELP ME LOCATE THE DESPERATELY ATTEMPT TO GIVE A SHIT BUTTON. WHOOPS WE BOTH FAILED, IT DOESN'T EXIST. FAG: Hey, I'm gone. I just think you should relax. FAG: You were wound up so tight through the whole adventure, and now here in the present you're a8out to explode. It's insuffera8le! CCG: EVERYBODY, DID YOU HEAR THAT?? SUPERFUTURE VRISKA HAS AN IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON FOR US ALL. CCG: WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OUR PRESENT RESPONSIBILIES AND OBLIGATIONS! CCG: BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT, IN THE FUTURE ALL THAT STUFF ALREADY HAPPENED. WE'RE OFF THE FUCKING HOOK! CCG: TIME TO RELAX. LET'S ALL CRAWL INTO OUR COCOONS AND GET BUSY STIMULATING OUR AUTOEROGENOUS SHAME GLOBES. CCG: FIRST ONE TO START A WANK FIRE GETS A SHINY BOONDOLLAR. CCG: THIS IS AN ORDER FROM YOUR LEADER. FAG: Hahahahahahahaha. CCG banned FAG from responding to memo.
CCG: LATER, FAG. CCG: TOO BAD THE ACRONYM WASN'T "HAG" INSTEAD, IT WOULD HAVE SUITED YOU MUCH BETTER. CCG: INSTEAD OF THAT NONSENSE WORD CCG: MAYBE ITS ASSOCIATION WITH YOU WILL COLLOQUIALLY CAUSE IT TO TAKE ON A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION, WHAT DO YOU THINK? CCG: MAYBE FAG WILL BE "THE NEW BURN!" EVEN THOUGH IT REALLY MEANS NOTHING IN OUR LANGUAGE. CCG: I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS STUPID, FORGET IT CCG: OK I'M RAMBLING HERE, I'M AWARE OF THAT. CCG: FUTURE ME, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE WEIGH IN ON THIS, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. CCG: IF I WERE FUTURE ME, WHICH I GUESS I AM, I WOULD READ THIS AND BE ALL OVER IT, LIKE DAMMIT KARKAT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING. CCG: GET TO THE POINT. FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 0:20 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: YEAH PRETTY MUCH. CCG banned FCG from responding to memo.
CCG: SO I'M SAYING IT TO MYSELF ALREADY HERE AND NOW, SO I WON'T HAVE TO LATER, GOT IT YOU TRENCHANT BACKBITING PRICKS????? CCG: DAMN, I'M LOSING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. CCG: MAYBE I'LL PICK IT UP AGAIN IN A FRESH MEMO LATER. CCG: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S RIGHT THOUGH, BECAUSE I VAGUELY REMEMBER THIS ONE BEING LONGER THAN THIS. PAST adiosToreador [PAT] 0:38 HOURS AGO responded to memo.
PAT: hEYY, CCG: OH SON OF A BITCH. PAT: i THOUGHT, PAT: sINCE IT LOOKS LIKE, yOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE OUT OF IMPORTANT MEMO STUFF TO SAY, PAT: uHH, PAT: mAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME, hERE, PAT: sINCE i DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW, bUT MAYBE HELP ME, PAT: aBOUT A THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH A GIRL, PAT: lIKE, PAT: a ROMANCE THING, yOU MIGHT KNOW ABOUT, CCG: YOU PEOPLE ARE IMBECILES. CCG: ALL OF YOU. CCG: I AM NOT POSTING THESE MEMOS TO COUNSEL YOU ON YOUR PAST AND FUTURE DATING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CCG: WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH BASKET CASES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. PAT: sORRY, CCG: SHOULD I BAN YOU? WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT ANYMORE! ONE OF YOU STOOGES WILL BE RIGHT ON THE LAST ONES HEELS WITH ANOTHER SOB STORY. CCG: JUST CCG: HURRY UP AND TELL ME WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS BRO. PAT: oKAY, PAT: i'M SORT OF, lYING ON vRISKA'S FLOOR RIGHT NOW, PAT: lIKE, iN HER BLOCK, PAT: lYING DOWN, PAT: uHH, yOU KNOW, bECAUSE i CAN'T WALK, CCG: OH NO SHIT REALLY??? CCG: YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN. PAT: uH, yEAH, aNYWAY, PAT: sHE TRIED TO KISS ME, PAT: wELL, sHE DIDN'T TRY, sHE ACTUALLY DID, PAT: aND THEN, kIND OF DROPPED ME, PAT: aND ALSO WE ARE WEARING COSTUMES, PAT: wOW, i'M NOT EXPLAINING THIS WELL, CCG: THIS IS SO FUCKED UP, WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO. PAT: aND NOW, tO MAKE IT, PAT: uHHHHH, PAT: a LOT WEIRDER, PAT: tHERE IS AN ANGRY VOICE IN MY HEAD, PAT: i DONT THINK IT'S rUFIO THIS TIME, PAT: rUFIO'S NOT THAT ANGRY, PAT: hE'S ALSO IMAGINARY, PAT: lIKE, a FAKE MADE UP FRIEND, PAT: yOU KNOW, lIKE, PAT: tHE WAY FAIRIES ARE, }:( CCG: GOD, ACTUALLY I REMEMBER READING THIS BULLSHIT. CCG: OR SKIMMING IT AT LEAST. CCG: HOW COULD I FORGET??? CCG: MORE LOONEYBLOCK THEATER, AND HERE I AM DRAWING THE CURTAINS FOR YOU GUYS LIKE A DOPE. PAT: aNYWAY, i THINK VRISKA IS UPSET ABOUT IT, aND SHE'S NOT TALKING OR ANYTHING, PAT: wHAT DO i DO, CCG: OK WELL, I CAN ADVISE YOU AND STUFF CCG: BUT YOU DO REALIZE THIS IS A PUBLIC BULLETIN. CCG: WE SHOULD BE HAVING THIS CHAT IN PRIVATE. CCG: EVERYONE CAN READ THIS, EVEN HER. CCG: I MEAN FUCK, SHE WAS *JUST HERE* TALKING YOU DUMMY! PAT: i KNOW, i READ THAT, PAT: bUT, PAT: tHAT'S FUTURE HER, wHICH, PAT: dOESN'T SEEM SO BAD, PAT: mAYBE FUTURE HER CAN READ THIS, aND, PAT: i GUESS, PAT: kNOW i'M SORRY ABOUT IT, PAT: i DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HER FEELINGS, CCG: WELL, FINE, IF YOU WANT TO BROADCAST A TRANSTIMELINE APOLOGY THEN FINE. CCG: BUT YOU SHOULD REALIZE THE FUTURE IS KIND OF A WIDE OPEN THING, I MEAN SHE COULD READ THIS LIKE TWO MINUTES IN THE FUTURE AS WELL AS 600 HOURS. CCG: AT THAT POINT YOU WOULD ESSENTIALLY BE TALKING TO PRESENT HER, COMPLETELY DEFEATING THE PURPOSE OF YOUR SPINELESS MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE APOLOGY. PAT: oH, PAT: yEAH, PAT: i DIDN'T, rEALLY THINK OF THAT, PAST arachnidsGrip [PAG] 0:08 HOURS AGO responded to memo.
PAG: Hi. CCG: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. PAG: Karkat, shut up! This does not concern you. CCG: OK WHATEVER. MY MEMO, BUT WHATEVER. PAT: uH, wOW, PAT: hI, PAG: Tavros, it's ok. Really. PAG: So you don't feel that way a8out me! That's fine. I shouldn't have expected any different. PAG: I can deal with it! I am not a wimp like you. I roll with 8ad 8r8ks all the time. No 8iggie. PAG: In fact, I already have dealt with it. I was over here dealing with it while you were over there on the floor fooling around with your computer after a cute girl tried to kiss you for some reason. PAG: As it turned out, fooling around with your computer to........ PAG: Go cry on future Karkat's shoulder a8out this???????? PAT: uM, PAT: yEAH, PAG: Hahahaha. You are a str8nge and funny 8oy, Tavros. CCG: OH GOD CCG: THIS IS CCG: COMPLETELY HILARIOUS. CCG: NOW I SEE WHY EVERYONE HAS BEEN RIPPING ON MY MEMOS. PAG: Karkat I said shut the fuck up!!!!!!!! PAG: Anyway, though totally unnecessary, your apology is accepted. PAT: oKAY, PAG: Now pick yourself up off the floor so we can go wring some fucking treasure out of this misera8le magic rock! PAT: yEAH, i'LL TRY, PAG: Actually, never mind, I'll 8e over there to help you with that too, kind of like I do with everything. PAG: Just lie still and try not to start crying or anything, and w8 a few minutes for your timeframe to catch up with mine. PAT: uH, PAT: wHAT, PAG: Exactly! I aaaaaaaam smarter than you. You see? You're learning! CCG: FUCK, ENOUGH ALREADY. CCG: THERE, GREAT, ANOTHER HAPPY COUPLE CCG: IN WHATEVER HIDEOUS QUADRANT THIS BATSHIT PAIRING WILL SUSTAIN. CCG: NOW OFF YOU GO. CCG banned PAT from responding to memo.
CCG banned PAG from responding to memo.
CCG: HOLY HELL. CCG: THIS IS EXHAUSTING. CCG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE. CCG: OK, MAYBE I'LL TAKE A MINUTE TO COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND GET BACK ON TOPIC HERE. FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: NO YOU WON'T. FCG: THIS ONE WAS PARTICULARLY NAUSEATING IN RETROSPECT, I'M SHUTTING THIS DOWN. FCG banned CCG from responding to memo.