uu: THE LOATHSOME FALSE PERSON. WITH THE FLOPPY LIMBS. IN DERSITE ATTIRE. YOu LIKE TO NAP WITH.
TT: Oh, Lil Cal? No, man.
TT: Lil Cal is the shit.
uu: THAT THING IS NOT THE SHIT.
uu: IT IS AN uNCANNY GRINNING MOCKERY. A BAD OMEN. YOu SHOuLD CHOP IT uP AND BuRN IT.
TT: No way, dude. He's my best friend.
uu: HOW FuCKING SAD IS THAT??
uu: I'M JuST TRYING. FOR ONCE. AND THE ONLY TIME EVER. TO BE HELPFuL.
uu: THOSE THINGS.
uu: YOu DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.
TT: A kickass ventriloquist doll?
TT: I've been given reason to believe it once belonged to my bro.
uu: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. WHAT YOu BELIEVE.
uu: THERE'S ONLY ONE REASON FOR THOSE TO EXIST.
uu: IT IS TO TuRN THE LIFE OF EVERYONE WHO OCCuPIES THE SAME uNIVERSE WITH IT.
uu: INTO A NIGHTMARE.
TT: Is that one of your alien folk stories?
uu: YES.
uu: BuT IT ALSO.
uu: IS TRuE.
uu: GET RID OF IT.
TT: You could argue that my life is already kind of a nightmare, so there's no point in getting rid of him now.
TT: Either way, I'm gonna hang on to him.
uu: YOu STuBBORN FuCK.
uu: FINE.
uu: MAYBE IT DOESN'T MATTER.
uu: MAYBE YOuRS IS uNTAINTED? I DON'T KNOW.
uu: COuLD BE. ITS EYES LOOK...
uu: DEAD TO ME?
uu: MAYBE YOu LuCKED THE FuCK OuT. WITH YOuR PARTICuLAR JuJu.
TT: I honestly had no idea you were this superstitious.
TT: You're a pretty fascinating guy, in a way. I can't really figure you out.
TT: In case you're wondering why I put up with you more than my friends do.
uu: I WASN'T.
uu: NOW ARE YOu GOING TO GO GET IT.
uu: OR WHAT.
TT: Why do you want me to get Cal so bad?
uu: I DON'T!
uu: JuST THAT. I SAW YOu. SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF NOW.
uu: CLIMBING TO THE ROOF WITH THAT THING.
uu: SO APPARENTLY. IT'S REQuISITE FOR GETTING THE FuCK ON WITH STuFF??
uu: DuMBASS.
TT: Ok. So, some self-fulfilling shit, then. I was hoping for a better reason.
uu: WHATEVER. DON'T TAKE IT.
uu: MAKE A PARADOX HAPPEN. WORKS FOR FuCKING ME.
TT: At this point I'm leaning toward grabbing him just cause he seems to bother you so much.
uu: WELL. I'VE HEARD OF WORSE REASONS FOR ACTING LIKE A STuPID PIECE OF SHIT.