VRISKA: He's just some huge overpowered green freak. A time traveling monster, supposedly invinci8le.
VRISKA: Who he is, what he is, where he came from, none of that really matters.
VRISKA: What matters is how we're going to defeat him.
VRISKA: That's what Tavros and I have 8een working on here for some time now.
JOHN: working on what?
VRISKA: Treasure hunting!
JOHN: oh yeah?
JOHN: what treasure?
VRISKA: Yes. Ok, I should explain.
VRISKA: There's sort of a plan in motion to 8eat English. It's a three pronged approach.
VRISKA: A num8er of people out here in the furthest ring are working on different prongs of the strategy independently.
VRISKA: The first is a quest to find the lost ghost of some alien girl. She's said to 8e one of the keys to defeating him in some way.
VRISKA: Other people are allegedly out there working on that right now. If you ask me, it sounds like a really 8oring approach to defeating him. Who knows if it's even true.
TAVROS: (gIVe it tO me,)
JOHN: (stop that!)
JOHN: (keep your hands to yourself.)
VRISKA: The second is a quest to raise an army of ghosts to challenge him directly in some kind of huge 8attle royale, I guess.
VRISKA: From what I understand, some yahoo out there is 8usy rounding people up. I really have no idea how that's going. I usually just hear stuff through the grapevine.
VRISKA: That approach doesn't really interest me either. Gonna file it under "8oring" as well. Seems a little heavy handed, not to mention too slow.
TAVROS: (gIve Me thE riNG,)
JOHN: (no!)
TAVROS: (yes, yOu ASs,)
JOHN: (dude, you suck at whispering!)
TAVROS: (you sAiD you'D GIve it to me,)
JOHN: (i changed my mind!)
VRISKA: The third prong is what Tavros and I are 8usy with. The aforementioned treasure hunt.
VRISKA: The legend says there's some mystical ancient treasure hidden somewhere out here in the furthest ring.
VRISKA: I'm assuming it's some kind of weapon. It's said that if you use it, or like, activ8te it in some way, he can 8e defeated forever.
VRISKA: The nature of the treasure is pretty vague, actually. 8ut the first rule of treasure hunting, which I'm admittedly just making up now, is that it doesn't fucking matter what the treasure is.
TAVROS: (wE had a deAl,)
JOHN: (quit it!)
TAVROS: (why Are you sUcH a liar,)
JOHN: (shut up. i'm keeping it.)
TAVROS: (thiS is noT cOOl,)
TAVROS: (you're PrevenTing joYful human sTYled matrimonY frOM happEning,)
JOHN: (yeah right. like she would even say yes.)
JOHN: (i don't even think she's really your girlfriend. i think you made that up!)
TAVROS: (wow, no, wOw,)
TAVROS: (you wEnt thERE,)
VRISKA: These three goals are all tied to the same legend which I've uncovered clues a8out over time. Legendary shit is everywhere out here. I'm seriously up to my ass in legend. Hell, I probably even qualify as a legend myself!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: When it comes to solving a 8ig mystery like this, it doesn't hurt that everywhere we go, places are composed of the collective memories of many different adventurers.
VRISKA: We've explored ancient crypts, networks of 8urial mounds, dusty old tom8s, giant pyramids, you name it. Hints a8out the endgame are hidden all over the place.
VRISKA: Really, everyone's pretty lucky I died so I could do all the dirty work on this. Let's get real, no8ody's 8etter prepared to take on the treasure hunting duties than I am.
TAVROS: (unhAnd the treasurE,)
TAVROS: (it's prEcious to Me, jUst liKe, My beautiful GIRLFRIEND,)
JOHN: (you are so full of shit!)
TAVROS: (we're in LOVE toGetHEr, aSSHole,)
JOHN: (there's no way you're getting this ring.)
TAVROS: (fUCk, YoU,)
VRISKA: Not that I'd have it any other way. This just sounds like the 8est plan to me. Why 8other messing around with an army of ghostly dipshits, or some shy magic alien when you can go str8 for the ultim8 weapon?
VRISKA: Hell, may8e I'll just walk right up to him, one-shot the guy and end it all right there.
VRISKA: That's how a real pro goes a8out 8usiness. You take any shortcut you find.
JOHN: (i am going to wish as super hard as i can that i wake up with this ring.)
JOHN: (it's probably magic, so i bet it makes my wish come true!)
TAVROS: (i doubT that From happeNing,)
JOHN: (if i wish hard enough, that will make it slightly less impossible!)
TAVROS: (oh, you bastARD, you arE gOOd,)
JOHN: (i think some day i will use it to propose to *MY* girlfriend. what do you think about THAT, wise guy?)
TAVROS: (noOO!!!)
TAVROS: (gIMme,)
JOHN: (this is pathetic.)
JOHN: (stop grabbing at me! we're missing what she's saying!)
JOHN: (she's going to think we're idiots, won't you STOP?)
VRISKA: Are you fuckers even listening to me???????? God DAMN it.
JOHN: yes!
VRISKA: No you're not. You're squa88ling with Tavros and his loud shitty whispering a8out some 8ullshit.
VRISKA: Come on, guys. Am I really 8eing that 8oring?
VRISKA: I'm really starting to understand how my ancestor must have felt sometimes. No8ody ever respects an important explan8tion!!!!!!!!
TAVROS: (i've alReadY heARd yoUR explANAtions, tHough,)
VRISKA: Why are you still whispering jackass?!
TAVROS: oHH,
TAVROS: sORRY,
VRISKA: Sigh.
VRISKA: 8oth of you just keep your damn hands to yourselves, shut up, and let me finish my story.
VRISKA: Tavros! 8ring me the treasure maps!!!!!!!!
TAVROS: yES,
TAVROS: rIGHT AWAY,