uu: SO WHEN I SAY YOU'RE UGLY. WHICH YOU FACTUALLY ARE.
uu: I MEAN THAT FROM MY PERSPECTIVE. OF BEING NORMAL, AND NOT A SHITTY ALIEN. TO SAY THAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE IN AN UNPLEASANT WAY. TO MY BRAIN.
GG: Hrm.
GG: Nope. That makes very little sense.
uu: FUCK. TRY USING YOUR SUPPOSEDLY BETTER SMARTNESS THAN MINE.
uu: AND THINK SOMEWHAT LATERALLY. ABOUT LIKE. FUCKING CULTURE. THAT ISN'T *YOURS*.
uu: YOU DUMB BITCH.
GG: Yes, I see it all too clearly now. You're really quite the charmer!
uu: NO. COME ON. "DUMB BITCH" IS ANOTHER GREAT COMPLIMENT.
uu: IN THE SAME VEIN AS THAT WHICH I JUST DESCRIBED.
uu: IT'S A TERM OF "ENDEARMENKSKLJJF" I USE TO TALK ABOUT GIRLS. WHO IN MY VIEW HAVE MANAGED TO AVOID BEING.
uu: UTTERLY BENEATH MY PERSONAL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. THIS ISN'T COMPLICATED.
GG: Uh huh.
GG: So you're actually trying to claim that you find me attractive, from the alleged "bad means good" point of view of your hate-driven species?
uu: DEFINITELY.
uu: I'M NOT JOKING AROUND, CROCKER.
uu: I'VE UNLOCKED A BUNCH OF YOUR SCREENS. AND SPENT A LOT OF TIME WATCHING YOU.
uu: WHILE THINKING. JUST.
uu: THE *DIIIIRTIEST* THOUGHTS.
uu: HEE HEE. HAA.
GG: Eww.
GG: You pig.
uu: THE OTHER FEMALE TOO. LET'S NOT FORGET YOUR SQUAD'S BACKUP BITCH.
uu: HOW NASTY IS SHE?? JUST SO FOUL. AND THE THINGS YOU GET UP TO WITH ONE ANOTHER. OH MY.
uu: NEED I EVEN CITE THE ALTERCATION WITH YOUR PUFFY SLUMBER LOAVES?
GG: Excuse me??
uu: MY COMPLIMENTS IN PARTICULAR. ON YOUR COLORFUL UNDERGARMENTS.
uu: WHILE BOUNCING UP AND DOWN ON THE SOFT HUMAN SARSWAPAGUS.
GG: Oh, that's just great.
GG: The ONE TIME we had a generic girly pillow fight, and it turns out some pervert was watching us.
GG: I think I need a shower.
GG: Assuming I can ever take one again in peace!
uu: DON'T WORRY. YOU CAN'T.
uu: BUT SERIOUSLY. JANE. CAN I CALL YOU JANE? BITCH, LISTEN.
uu: YOU ARE ONE GRODY HARLOT. WHICH MEANS GOOD (BAD) THINGS TO ME, LET'S REMEMBER.
uu: WHEN I UNLOCKED YOU. I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE I'VE CHANGED? OR MAYBE JUST YOU. SINCE YOU TURNED OLDER. BUT YOU'VE REALLY.
uu: FILLED OUT.
uu: SINCE I LAST SAW YOU BEFORE.
GG: What?
GG: ...
GG: Really?
uu: HELL YES.
uu: I DO ENJOY A MEATY BITCH. WITH A LITTLE CLOUT.
GG: What do you mean, exactly...
GG: By "clout?"
uu: OH. I THINK YOU KNOW.
uu: WHEN PHYSICAL PORTIONS OF THE BITCH. KIND OF JUT OUT. EXUBERANTLY.
GG: Do you mean...
GG: My...
GG: Why am I even having this conversation!
uu: I JUST HAVE A WEAK SPOT. FOR THE ABOVE AVERAGE HEFT OF YOUR PARTS. WHICH WOBBLE THE MOST.
uu: NOW DO SOMETHING NAUSEATING FOR ME TO WATCH.
uu: I WANT TO SEE A TAWDRY ACT OF HARD CORE SCHMALTZ.
uu: SEE THAT ROCK OVER THERE. PRETEND IT IS THE OTHER INSOLENT BITCH.
uu: ACT A LITTLE NERVOUS. WITH YOUR IDLE HAND, GRAZE ONE OF YOUR MORE BULBOUS LOCATIONS "INCIDENTALLY".
uu: THEN ASK THE ROCK IF IT WANTS TO FALL IN LOVE!!! OOOOOOOH.
GG: What? No!
GG: Are you insane?
GG: I don't care where you are, or whatever the hell it is you "unlocked" to spy on me.
GG: You aren't allowed to sit there all day leering at my boobs!!!
uu: YOUR WHAT.
GG: My... what?
GG: Wait, what were YOU talking about?
uu: NO. TELL ME WHAT THOSE THINGS YOU SAID ARE. I'M SO ENTICED!
GG: Screw you!
GG: Tell me what you were getting at with all that!!
GG: The stuff about "clout," and my "bulbous locations."
uu: I WAS JUST SAYING. MY TASTE PREFERS.
uu: WHEN THE BUXOM SHREW'S PHYSIQUE PUTS A HEALTHY DENT IN SPACETIME.
GG: Spacetime??
uu: I LIKE HOW SALTY IT IS. WHEN A BITCH GROWS OUT OF HER SKELETAL PHASE.
uu: AND HER FRAME REALLY BEGINS TO CHALLENGE THE HORIZONTAL DIMENSIONS.
GG: WHAT!
uu: WHEN THE FEMALE RUMP STARTS GETTING MORE MILEAGE OUT OF ITS WIDENESS ATTRIBUTE. MORE BANG FOR ITS BOONBUCK!
uu: IT EXCITES ME BETTER. WHEN BITCHES PUNISH THE GROUND. WITH EACH MEGALITHIC FOOTSTEP.
GG: SHUT UP!
GG: I'M NOT FAT!!!
uu: JANE BITCH. I HAVE NEW ORDERS.
uu: YOU WILL STRIP TO THE SCANTY PAIR OF PARTY PANTS AND THE CLOTH CHEST PIECE WHICH YOU WEAR UNDER THOSE PLAIN RAGS.
uu: THEN FIND A NAUGHTY PATCH OF MUD.
uu: AND ROLL AROUND IN THE MUD. LIKE AN EARTH PIG.
uu: FLAUNTING FOR ME. YOUR SLIPPERY AND SWOLLEN PORCINE PHYSICALITY.
uu: AND MAYBE GRUNT SOME DECADENT POEMS THROUGH YOUR SNOUT. ABOUT SOME SHITFACE YOU "ADOREFJSDKLJJF".
uu: OOOOH YES.
uu: THAT WOULD BE.
uu: *WRRRRETCHED!*
GG: GO FUCK YOURSELF!
uu: WAIT! DON'T SHUT ME OUT.
uu: REMEMBER WHAT I SAID. ABOUT OUR DIFFERENT CULTURES OR WHATEVER.
uu: HAVE A FUCKING OPEN MIND, JANE.
uu: I MADE YOU A PRESENT. FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY. WHATEVER THAT ACTUALLY IS.
uu: SEE HOW I'M MAKING AN EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND YOUR CUSTOMS?
uu: MEET ME HALF OF THE GODDAMN WAY.
GG: Oh cripes.
GG: What is it?
uu: A SUBLIME ARTISTIC PORTRAIT.
uu: REMEMBER HOW I SAID MY POWER WAS GROWING WITH EACH DAY.
uu: THIS APPLIES AS WELL TO MY PROWESS AS A DRAFTSMAN.
GG: Oh goodness, no. You poor delusional thing.
GG: I don't care what progress you think you've made. You will never be a good artist, dear.
uu: HORSESHIT.
uu: MY ILLUSTRATION IS STUNNING. IT IS NEARLY A PHOTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF YOUR ODIOUS MILKSHAKE.
uu: NOW PARK THE INDUSTRIAL LOAD OF FREIGHT YOU DECLARE A BOTTOM. AND FEAST YOUR EYES ON MY FUCKING EXCELLENCE!
uu: http://tinyurl.com/JANETHISISYOU
GG: Groan.
uu: I BELIEVE I HAVE CHOSEN THE PERFECT SHAPE FOR YOU.
uu: IT IS DESCRIBED IN CERTAIN CIRCLES KNOWLEDGEABLE OF THE ARTS. AS. "A CIRCLE".
uu: I AM VERY PLEASED WITH HOW FAITHFULLY IT HAS CAPTURED THE OBSCENE ROTUNDITY. OF YOUR MAGNIFICENT CARRIAGE.
uu: TRULY A SPITTING IMAGE OF THE CROCKER BITCH.
uu: NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY. YOU MAY LEARN SOMETHING.
uu: THE MASTERPIECE AFICIONADO WILL NOTICE. HOW I ACHIEVED THIS HIGHLY ADVANCED AND DIFFICULT SHAPE.
uu: WHAT MOST GIFTED ARTISANS WILL TELL YOU. IS THAT. CIRCLES ARE BASICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO DRAW.
uu: TRUST ME.
uu: IT'S LIKE A PARADOX. A SHAPE WITHOUT ANGLES. WHAT??
uu: SO I FUCKING CHEATED.
uu: I NAVIGATED THE IRRATIONAL PERIMETER BY MAKING A LOT OF EASILY UNDERSTANDABLE, TOTALLY LOGICAL MARKS. FORMING A WHOLE BUNCH OF LITTLE RIGHT ANGLES.
uu: THE CHEATING PART HAPPENS WHEN I DO THIS A LOT. SO IT GOES IN A ROUND DIRECTION.
uu: THIS ONE CAME OUT WELL I THINK. BUT THERE'S ROOM TO IMPROVE.
uu: I HAVE THEORIZED THAT IF I KEEP MAKING BOGUS CIRCLES LIKE THIS.
uu: WHILE DRAWING MORE AND MORE ANGLES. BUT SMALLER. SO SMALL THAT YOU START CAN'T SEEING THEM.
uu: THAT THE ILLUSION OF THE CIRCLE WILL BE COMPLETE! AND PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE IN THE FAKE CIRCLE. LIKE A BUNCH OF SUCKERS.
uu: I BET NOBODY HAS THOUGHT OF THAT CIRCLE STRATEGY. I THINK I'M THE FIRST AT THIS IDEA. AND BEST AT IT ALREADY.
uu: PEOPLE THINK I'M DUMB. ESPECIALLY THE VOICE IN MY HEAD.
uu: AND THEY MAY BE RIGHT ABOUT ME BEING DUMB.
uu: BUT WHEN IT COMES TO THE SPECIAL WAY I DO THINGS. WHICH IS ALWAYS ACTUALLY. THE PERFECT WAY.
uu: I AM.
uu: A GENIUS!