DAVE: thanks DAVE: but DAVE: it still feels a little odd accepting an apology from somebody who i just met and technically had nothing to do with my life DAVE: even if you do feel guilty splinterways or whatever DAVE: it is just a messed up situation DAVE: and i guess i had to vent DAVE: and there was never anyone i wanted to say all that to DAVE: and the only thing that was gonna drag it out of me i guess was like a teen stand-in phantom of my dead bro DAVE: just some perfectly innocent dude havin to take the brunt of this shit DIRK: I'm not particularly innocent though. DIRK: I've messed a lot of things up. DIRK: With my friends. DIRK: Honestly, that's why I wasn't that bent on sticking around, when I showed up. DIRK: And pretty much jumped at the offer of flying here to get ready for some yet to be explained battle. DIRK: Battles are easy. Just you, a sword, some bad guys... it's a lot simpler than having to answer for things you did. DIRK: For the most part, I feel pretty bad about the role I played in my friends' lives. DIRK: Especially Jake. DAVE: what happened there DIRK: I don't even know. DIRK: An unmitigated disaster for which I'm entirely to blame. DIRK: It's not any one thing. I think I was just a completely toxic element in his life from day one. DIRK: I don't know what he's doing now. DIRK: I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to avoid me as much as possible. DIRK: I'm sure that's for the best. DIRK: I think I need to stay out of his business for a good while, so I don't risk poisoning another innocent kid's life. DIRK: Like I did with you, apparently. DAVE: yeah DAVE: i mean DAVE: maybe its a little different cause relations between peers is a whole other thing DAVE: its tricky shit and youre both figuring stuff out on a relatively equal footing and youre both at the same point in your lives DAVE: its not like when one person is older and supposed to be a lot more... DAVE: never mind this is a fucked up thing to think about DAVE: but the bottom line is yeah laying low while you sort out your stuff cant hurt DIRK: Right. DIRK: The thing with that, with my adult self's... DIRK: Ways. DIRK: The sad thing is, DIRK: I can really see it. DIRK: How someone like me can go unchecked in life, and turn out to become a much worse person than I already am. DIRK: I guess I'm just relieved I still have some time to make sure that doesn't happen. DAVE: you dont actually seem like a bad person to me though DIRK: No? DAVE: nah DIRK: Why not? DIRK: We did just meet, after all. DAVE: because DAVE: i dunno if truly bad people wrestle so much with whether theyre good or bad DAVE: i think if i ever sensed my bro like DAVE: struggled at all with what he was doing or who he was DAVE: or showed any sort of doubt DAVE: that might have changed everything DAVE: but there was never a crack in it DAVE: or the slightest hint of introspection behind the aggressive cooldude facade DAVE: if there was i sure never noticed DAVE: i mean personally DAVE: i think about it all the time now DAVE: what it actually means to be good or bad DAVE: or if not something that starkly moral DAVE: at least just trying to examine the difference between being decent and being a douche DAVE: maybe its because of him i worry about that now DAVE: but for me i think that internal struggle is kind of mild DAVE: for him... DAVE: or you i mean DAVE: it sounds like some pretty dark shit DAVE: like grappling with... DAVE: becoming evil vs simply trying not to DIRK: Yeah. DIRK: That's not too far off. DAVE: but the point is DAVE: even just talkin to you a little bit DAVE: its obvious youve been fighting with that DAVE: which means that you care enough to put in some effort DAVE: i think that counts for something